Baby blues

By Bhushan Salunke
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Anushka Sharma & Virat Kohli
The Devil’s Advocate, serving you a cocktail of humour, wit and sarcasm

The 1.3 billion cricket fans in India are upset with their cricket captain, Virat Kohli. Why? Because he is abandoning the crucial Border-Gavaskar Trophy in Australia, to go back to India and be with his pregnant wife, Anushka, who is ready to pop any time. He will play just one test match before jetting off and leaving his team behind to face the onslaught of the Australian cricket team.

The fans are having a melt down and suffering their baby blues. Here are a few curated samples of their reactions

“This amounts to cowardice and treachery. Cricket is like a war between two countries. He is running away from the battlefield and letting his soldiers be cannon fodder”

“Since when did Indian men start to go into labour rooms and be with their screaming wives in labour?. Is this yet another Western fad that some new age Indian men are copying?”

“The world is going digital and people are working online. So, why can’t he watch his wife deliver on Zoom?”

“How could he not plan the pregnancy so that it did not clash with cricket? He knew the dates of the series in advance. They could have at least done a bit of math before jumping into bed.”

“Did former captain, MS Dhoni run away when he faced a similar situation? In the middle of the 2015 World Cup campaign, Dhoni had said that he would not go back home because he was on “National Duty”. What a man! The country should come first before anything else. Sacrifices have to be made in the national interest”

“Even Sunil Gavaskar, whose namesake trophy is underway, did not ask permission to return to be his wife’s side for the birth when he was on tour in 1975-76. He said, “I was aware that the baby would come while I was away. I was committed to playing for India and my wife backed me to the hilt.’ If Dhoni, Gavaskar & Ganguly could do it, why not Kohli?”

“Would he have gone back if these were the lucrative IPL matches? This is all about moolah”

“What’s he going to do after returning to India? Go to nappy changing school? Paint the room blue or pink? Learn how to push a pram? He’ll probably end up selling “new born baby with the happy couple” photos for a fortune or do TV ads for baby food”

“Will jawans working on the border get paternity leave as easily as Virat did?”

“Why couldn’t Anushka deliver the baby in Australia instead?”

Finally, I asked my 4th wave feminist acquaintance on her take. She roared, “This is a patriarchal society. Now, they will blame the woman for making her man come back home. Why shouldn’t men deliver babies for a change. Why women, all the time?”

I’m confused. How is Anushka involved in this kerfuffle? Don’t storks deliver babies?


Disclaimer:The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author

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