Pregnancy is often painted as a glowing season. In many Indian families, it is also a season of blessings, rituals, and high expectations. So when a woman feels low, anxious, angry, numb, or frightened during pregnancy or after the baby arrives, she carries a double burden: the symptoms and the guilt of thinking, “I should be happy, why am I not?”
What perinatal mental health means?
The perinatal period covers pregnancy and the first year after birth. Mental health conditions in this time are common. National reporting in Australia estimates about one in five mothers experience a perinatal mental health condition, and anxiety is often reported in the 10% to 20% range. These are not personality flaws or a lack of gratitude. They can affect sleep, appetite, confidence, relationships, and bonding, and they usually need support to improve.
When perfection becomes a trap
Many Indian women have grown up with the idea that a “good mother” copes quietly, keeps the home running, and puts everyone else first. After birth, that belief can turn into pressure. If feeding is difficult, recovery is slow, or the baby cries for hours, shame can arrive fast.
Depression doesn’t always look like tears
Postnatal depression and anxiety may show up as constant worry, panic, irritability, anger, or feeling emotionally flat. Some mothers cannot sleep even when the baby sleeps. Some feel disconnected from the baby and then feel guilty for it. Intrusive, scary thoughts can occur and feel frightening. If you are thinking about harming yourself, or you feel unsafe, this is urgent and you deserve immediate help.
When the “village” is overseas
In India, many mothers expect a village after birth: family cooking, holding the baby, and insisting the new mother rests. In Australia, many couples live as a nuclear family. Parents may be overseas, visas delayed, and partners often return to work quickly. The gap between expected support and daily reality can create loneliness, exhaustion, and self-blame.
Before birth, make a simple support plan for the first six weeks. Decide who will cook, who can help with school runs, and who you can call at 2 am. Practical help reduces emotional load quickly.
Culture can comfort, and it can pressure
Indian traditions can be protective when offered with kindness and flexibility: warm food, rest, prayer, and practical care. But culture becomes heavy when it turns into control or criticism. Some women feel watched and judged about breastfeeding, sleep routines, visitors, weight, or housework. The fear of “log kya kahenge” can keep women silent for months.
How cultural expectations fuel anxiety and depression after birth, and how to protect mothers with compassion
When distress speaks through the body
Many women do not use the word “depression”. They may say, “My body feels weak,” “My head is heavy,” or “My mind won’t settle”. They may present with headaches, stomach upset, a racing heart, or constant tiredness. This can be anxiety or depression speaking through the body, and it deserves care.
Making support culturally safe
For culturally and linguistically diverse families, barriers can be higher: language, stigma, unfamiliarity with the system, and fear of judgement. Australia has strengthened guidance through the 2023 National Perinatal Mental Health Guideline, updated by COPE after being commissioned by the Commonwealth Government, to support consistent screening and clear referral pathways. Multilingual screening helps, and COPE’s iCOPE tools are available in many languages, including Hindi, Punjabi, Tamil, Urdu, and Nepali.
What the government is building?
In February 2026, the Australian Government announced $39.2 million to establish a national network of 20 Perinatal Mental Health Centres, operated through Gidget Foundation Australia. The announcement also noted almost 100,000 Australians are estimated to experience perinatal mental health challenges each year.
Practical steps that work in Australia
If you are struggling, start with your GP, midwife, obstetrician, or Maternal and Child Health nurse. You can simply say, “I’m not coping,” “I’m anxious all the time,” or “I feel low most days”. Ask to speak alone if you need privacy, and ask for a professional interpreter if English is not comfortable.
A GP can prepare a Mental Health Treatment Plan and refer you to counselling. Medicare allows eligible patients to claim up to 10 individual and 10 group sessions with an eligible mental health professional each calendar year. If money is a worry, ask about bulk-billing, low-cost options, or telehealth. If symptoms are severe, you cannot function, or there are safety concerns, urgent assessment is the right next step.
Perinatal-specific supports can make it easier to begin. PANDA provides perinatal mental health support, and Gidget Foundation services provide perinatal-focused psychological care in many locations and via telehealth.
How families can protect mothers with compassion?
For Indian families, the most powerful help is practical and kind. Reduce expectations and protect rest. Help with meals and household work. Keep visits short. Speak gently. Avoid criticism, comparison, and “just be positive”. Elders can offer care without control, and partners can help the mother get sleep and attend appointments. The most healing sentence a family can say is, “We believe you, and we will help you get support.”
Joy can return
Perinatal depression and anxiety are treatable. The earlier you speak, the sooner recovery begins. If joy feels heavy right now, please remember: you are not weak, you are not alone, and you deserve care.
Dr Preeti Khillan is a Melbourne-based obstetrician and gynaecologist with extensive experience caring for women from diverse cultural backgrounds across all stages of pregnancy and birth.
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