The Devil’s Advocate, serving you a cocktail of humour, wit and sarcasm
Appu paid a courteous visit to the French President Macron, arriving with a bouquet and baguette in hand, at the hospital where he was recuperating after getting slapped in the face by his wife, Brigitte.
For those of you who are not aware of this slapstick viral incident, in May 2025, during a state visit to Vietnam, a video surfaced showing First Lady Brigitte Macron pushing/slapping President Macron’s face as they prepared to disembark from their plane. Initially dismissed as AI-generated disinformation, the footage was later confirmed as authentic. President Macron downplayed the incident, describing it as playful teasing between the couple. However, body language experts and media commentators questioned this characterisation, noting Macron’s surprised reaction and the couple’s subsequent lack of physical affection.
Appu extended his sympathies to President Macron, presenting him with a bouquet and the symbolic baguette. “Wishing you a speedy recovery, Mr. President,” he said warmly. Macron’s face appeared noticeably swollen, with a vivid hand-shaped mark etched on one cheek — a silent testament to recent events.
Appu remarked, “In the Bollywood film Thappad, the husband slaps his wife and she files for divorce immediately. Will you be doing the same?”
Macron guffawed. “Don’t be silly. Woman physically assaulting a man does not constitute domestic violence. As you already know, only women are allowed to be victims of domestic violence in India; domestic violence laws are primarily designed to protect women, and there is currently no specific legislation that recognises or addresses domestic violence against men”
Appu argued. “In many films, both Bollywood and Hollywood, scenes of women slapping men are commonplace and normalised as bold expressions of women empowerment. Even icons like James Bond and Tom Cruise have found themselves getting slapped severely. These moments highlight an intriguing double standard: when physical aggression by men is condemned, similar actions by women are celebrated or made light of. If we truly aim for gender equality, shouldn’t the standards for acceptable behavior apply equally, regardless of who’s throwing the fist?”
Macron defended. “Look, what happened between Brigitte and myself was horseplay. I have known Brigitte since my teenage schooldays as my teacher. She would always give me “play time” for good behaviour during which we would roll on the floor, throw pillows at each other and punch each other playfully. This ritual has continued after marrying her and we indulge in it on regular basis as a source of fun and entertainment to keep the passion alive with the older Brigitte and to maintain the 24-year age difference between us”
Appu dug deep. “Are you sure you were not flirting with the airhostess and Brigitte caught you red handed and slapped you in anger?”
Macron said. “Look. Men getting slapped by women is not a big deal. Have you not heard of the Hurricane Slap Shot in pubs and bars? A hurricane slap shot is a drink and performance act where the woman bartender serves a shot, throws a drink in the customer’s face, and then slaps him. Some men seem to like getting slapped by a woman; some sort of a sexual fantasy?”
“On a serious note, of course, a man should not hit back if a woman takes a shot at him. Imagine Mike Tyson, the boxer, throwing a punch at his wife. A woman does not pack as much punch as a man so it is not fair to the women. In case a woman likes to assault a man, I suggest that the man turn his back to her so that he gets a slap on the back, which can then be construed to be a complimentary gesture by the woman.”
Macron continued. “If you must achieve gender equality, it requires that men empower women by supporting them to develop and use traditionally masculine traits such as aggressiveness, muscle building and use of physical force. All feminists will concur with this.”
Appu asked. “Appears that people like to slap you Macron. In June 2021, during your public appearance in southeastern France, you were slapped in the face by a man who shouted slogans against you.”
Macron rued. “Indeed. Pardon my French but some &%$#& people like to take a swipe at my face all the time.”
Back in France, approval ratings for slapping has soared. Pollsters report that citizens believe “a good presidential slap” builds character. 100% wish their boss would get one.
Macron has a tough time ahead trying to save face!
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author.
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