Shopping for love

By Bhushan Salunke
The Devil’s Advocate, serving you a cocktail of humour, wit and sarcasm

“Honey”, I yelled to my wife as I jumped into the car. “I’m off to Bunnings. Be back soon”.

The missus came rushing out of the house and closed the remote-controlled front gate on me. “No. You are not”. “But why?” I protested. “You had wanted the fertiliser bags for your rose garden”.

“I’ll go get them. You stay home. Bunnings has become an unsafe place for men with dangers lurking in every aisle. Low prices are not only just the beginning”, she said.

I scratched my head and thought hard. Then the paisa dropped. I burst out laughing and did a ROFL.

Bunnings has now become the happy hunting grounds for single women looking for husbands. A single Aussie woman, fed up with dating apps, is shopping at hardware store Bunnings for a husband. Leesh Cunningham, 26, went viral on TikTok after filming “Find me a fella” videos of her search for love. In the videos, Ms Cunningham is seen wandering through each aisle and asking Bunnings employees if they have any men in stock.

Has the situation become this desperate? Is the institution of marriage collapsing? Why are the hundreds of AI-driven dating apps not working? Where have all the men gone? Is the office romance dead? Cupid does not frequent the pubs anymore? Has #Metoo driven all the good men into hiding?

Leesh says that “real men are definitely tradies” and I think she is spot on. Tradies earn more than doctors; you have to pay $100 to a plumber just to show up and ring your front doorbell. Is there a better place than Bunnings—the Mecca for tradies—where you can buy a snag and snag a man, at the same time?

Aussie women are getting turned off by metrosexual men with their soft manicured hands and passion for quinoa, kombucha and soy milk. Instead, they are swooning over tradies. In addition to their handsome incomes, tradesmen are hot property thanks to their rugged bodies and handsome looks—which they show off on social media.

Close on the heels of Leesh’s quest for love, a man has copied her modus operandi and has started his own journey on finding a wife in supermarket aisles. In his TikTok video he says, “I’m just jumping on the trend that you hang out in the cleaning aisle of Coles and try to find a wife, let’s see how it goes.”

This has not gone down well with Xena, my 4th-wave feminist acquaintance, who thinks all men are misogynists. “This is so sexist. Do men think that women are meant to do the cleaning and washing up?”

Other women offered him some tips on finding a potential wife in supermarkets. They told him to go over to the cheese, chocolate, ice-cream or wine sections but not to the cleaning products aisle. Others suggested him to try Kmart, Pandora, beauty salons etc.

I personally checked the cleaning products aisle in Woolworths and found no women there. In fact, I had to brush away a few spider cobwebs just to get through it.

What was I doing in Woolworths, did someone ask? Shopping of course, no thanks to Woolies after their “That’s why I pick Woolies” TV adverts. In these ads, a man is shown taking lunch requests from family members, shopping in the supermarket and cooking up meals for his wife, children and their friends.

Maybe single women should try their luck in supermarkets instead, where they could find a man who can cook and wash; every woman’s dream man.

So, my mate who is looking for a wife in supermarkets is in for a big shock when he sees big, burly & hairy men, wheeling their shopping trolleys around, at breakneck speed. LOL

Finding future husbands and wives is becoming so hard these days. Should we go back to the traditional ways of arranged marriages?

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author

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