As families across Australia prepare for the school year to begin, excitement often sits alongside anxiety. The return to routines, classrooms and social expectations can feel energising for some children, but unsettling for others. Speaking to Saleha Singh on Chai Chat and Community, psychologist Dr Amita Sarkar offered calm, practical guidance for parents navigating the transition from daycare through to secondary school.
“The stress levels will be high compared to how it was during the school holidays,” she said, pointing to the sudden shift from relaxed days to early mornings and structured schedules. Holidays, she explained, are “the time to rewind, relax, have fun, no routines, no early mornings”, while the start of a new term brings “its own share of stress and worries to the children and that is also shared by the parents directly and indirectly”.
Dr Sarkar stressed that this rise in tension is common and manageable, especially when families prepare gently in the final week before school resumes. “The general prescription for this is in a very gentle way try to be little proactive at least the last week before the school starts,” she said, encouraging parents to reintroduce routines, ease back on late nights and reduce screen time.
For toddlers starting daycare or kinder for the first time, tears at the gate can feel alarming, but Dr Sarkar described them as a healthy sign of attachment. “If your child is tearful and distressed leaving you, I would say as a psychologist that it’s actually a good sign,” she said. Separation anxiety, she explained, is a normal part of early development and can resurface during new transitions. “These behaviours are pretty normal,” she said, adding that childcare educators are well trained to support children through this phase.
She advised parents to keep goodbyes brief and predictable. “Don’t just vanish without saying goodbye because otherwise your child will be more anxious looking for you all around,” she said. Clear reassurance, a quick departure and, where helpful, a comfort item such as a teddy or blanket can all help children settle, even if they cry at first.
As children move into primary school, academic expectations begin to rise, particularly around Years 2 and 3. What can appear to adults as a small step often feels large to a child. “There is that invisible shift,” Dr Sarkar said, as learning becomes more structured and demanding. Her advice to parents was to resist the urge to panic or compare. “Your child has got the whole one year to catch up. So don’t be panicky and in a hurry to start pressurising them about academic part.”
Instead, she urged families to focus on emotional skills. “Emotional regulation is a very important part of brain development,” she said. “If your child is not able to regulate emotionally, they are anxious or they are panicky, their focus and concentration will get affected and that will affect their academics anyway.”
Parents should also watch for signs that a child is struggling beyond normal nerves. These may include disrupted sleep, mood changes, appetite shifts or frequent complaints of headaches or stomach aches. Such signals, Dr Sarkar said, can reflect emotional distress rather than illness. Talking openly with children about how they feel, and giving them time to adjust in the first weeks, often helps.
“Your child has got dual cultural identities. They’re also Australian and they’re also Asian or African or whichever community you come from”
— Dr Amita Sarkar
For teenagers, the return to secondary school can feel like “a social marathon as much as it is an academic one”. Dr Sarkar noted that academic pressure, shifting friendships, part-time work and reduced freedom after the holidays can all weigh heavily. Peer relationships, in particular, can dominate young minds. “What has happened during the holidays, are there any fallouts, are there any new relationships, new friendships, all those things start to play on their minds,” she said.
In multicultural families, these pressures are often layered with questions of identity. “Your child has got dual cultural identities,” Dr Sarkar said. “They’re also Australian and they’re also Asian or African or whichever community you come from.” She encouraged parents to recognise this reality and avoid rigid expectations that make teenagers feel out of place among their peers.
Across all ages, Dr Sarkar returned to the role of parents as emotional role models. Children, she said, are highly attuned to adult stress. “Babies and little kids, they are very good picking the sign of stress,” she said. Mornings can be especially tense, so she recommended small, practical habits such as preparing the night before and parents waking a little earlier to centre themselves. “It’s not really going to make a huge difference if you’re three minutes late, but it’s going to make a huge difference if your child remembers you in that emotionally disregulated way every morning,” she said.
“Talking to friends and families and other parents with the children of same age group is actually a very great practical idea”
When concerns persist, Dr Sarkar advised starting with the school, followed by a GP if needed. Teachers and wellbeing staff can offer early insights, while GPs can arrange further support. She also reminded parents that seeking help for themselves is valid. “It’s not that they are suffering from a mental health disorder, but it is about stress and coping around parenting, about job and other things,” she said.
Community support, she added, remains a powerful resource. “Talking to friends and families and other parents with the children of same age group is actually a very great practical idea,” she said.
As the school year begins, Dr Sarkar’s message was measured and reassuring. Adjustment takes time, big feelings are normal, and routines settle gradually. With patience, realistic expectations and emotional awareness, families can navigate the return to school with steadiness rather than fear.
This article is based on a podcast conversation from Chai Chat and Community, produced by Chai for The Indian Sun.
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