International Men’s Day, observed on 19 November, rarely commands the same global attention as International Women’s Day, yet its significance is undeniable. While Women’s Day is backed by the United Nations and rooted in decades of activism, Men’s Day is still evolving. But in a world where men silently carry emotional burdens, health risks and cultural expectations, the question is not whether Men’s Day should match Women’s Day in scale, but whether we can continue overlooking men’s wellbeing at all.
The Emotional Inner World of Indian Men
When we speak of mental health, we often think of depression, anxiety and trauma. What we forget is that mental health is also about emotional expression, cultural conditioning and the invisible rules that shape how men behave. As culture journalist Prachi Gangwani writes in her acclaimed book Dear Men, Indian men live in a society “still teetering on the cusp of modern and traditional,” caught between evolving gender norms and inherited expectations.
One universal theme emerges in almost every Indian household: boys are taught from a young age that tears are shameful. Phrases like “Don’t cry,” “Man up,” and “Mard ko dard nahi hota” are emotional instructions more than casual comments. Indian psychologist Dr Ashis Nandy famously remarked, “In India, masculinity is not taught—it is imposed.” This imposition begins early, shaping how men love, express, react and cope well into adulthood.
Psychologist Ronald Levant explains this through Normative Male Alexithymia, a condition where boys socialised to suppress feelings grow into men who struggle to express or even identify emotions. Research shows male toddlers start out more emotionally expressive than girls, yet by adolescence they become significantly more withdrawn. This shift is not biological fate, it is cultural training.
Where Do Suppressed Emotions Go?
Unexpressed emotions never disappear, they transform. As one Indian psychologist described, men often become “pressure cookers,” holding everything inside until it erupts in the form of anger, addiction, withdrawal or silence. Anger becomes the only emotion men feel permitted to show, while sadness, fear and loneliness remain locked away.
Our cinema, too, has celebrated the “angry young man,” from Amitabh Bachchan’s iconic characters to countless modern roles, reinforcing the belief that anger signifies strength. Sociologist Dr Raghuram Iyer captures this perfectly: “Indian society has romanticised male anger as passion, forgetting it is often pain in disguise.”
Families tiptoe around temperamental men, assuming anger is natural rather than recognising it as an emotional wound. But suppressed emotions eventually manifest in relationships, work and, most heartbreakingly, in men’s health.
Why Men Face Greater Health Risks
Globally, men die four to six years younger than women, experience more lifestyle-related diseases and have significantly higher suicide rates. In countries like Australia and India, 70 to 80 percent of suicides are men. This is not because men feel less, it is because they are encouraged to express less.
Indian psychiatrist Dr Samir Parikh says, “Silence is the biggest mental health risk factor for Indian men.” Silence prevents early intervention. Silence keeps men away from doctors. Silence tells men to push through work stress, financial pressure and emotional strain without seeking help.
Men are more likely to ignore symptoms, delay check-ups and normalise dangerous behaviours such as smoking, excessive drinking or overworking. They also dominate high-risk professions, resulting in more injuries and chronic health issues. Biologically, men are more prone to early cardiac disease and visceral fat accumulation, yet their reluctance to seek care worsens outcomes.
Loneliness plays a devastating role. Many men, particularly as they age, lose deep friendships, relying solely on a partner for connection. As the saying goes, “Women have circles; men have silence.”
A Personal Reflection: A Father Who Leads with Kindness
As a mother of two daughters, I witness daily the transformative power of healthy masculinity. My husband, Dr Raj Khillan, is not just their father, he is their teacher of empathy, respect and resilience. Our daughters have grown up watching a father who attends every milestone, listens without judgement and supports their dreams with unwavering pride.
They have learned, not through lectures but through lived example, that a strong man can also be gentle; that emotional expression is not weakness; and that real masculinity is grounded in responsibility, not dominance. Their father has shown them that partnership is built on equality, patience and mutual respect. It is a legacy I know they will carry into their future relationships.
Why We Need International Men’s Day
We need International Men’s Day to give men permission to feel, to create safe spaces for boys to cry, fathers to open up and men to seek help without shame. This day is not about glorifying men or diminishing the struggles of women. It is about restoring emotional balance and recognising men as human beings with vulnerabilities, not just providers or protectors.
When men feel supported, families become more harmonious. When boys learn emotional literacy, they grow into respectful men. When men seek help early, communities become healthier. When fathers are present emotionally, children flourish.
This International Men’s Day, let us celebrate the fathers, sons, brothers and partners who love us, and commit to supporting those who suffer silently.
Because ultimately, when men learn to feel, families learn to heal, and societies learn to grow.
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