BLOODY CHORES!

By Bhushan Salunke
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The Devil’s Advocate, serving you a cocktail of humour, wit and sarcasm

The debate over the division of household chores between men and women constantly resurfaces, often highlighting the narrative that women are overwhelmed by the burden of domestic responsibilities.

According to the latest Taking the Pulse of the Nation (TTPN) Australian report, women spend more time on unpaid domestic work than men. The data estimated that, in 2023, women dedicated 22.3 hours per week to household tasks, while men spent only 15.3 hours—a gap of 7 hours per week.

Even if these statistics were true, are battle lines being drawn to close this 1-hour per day gap?

To find the underlying cause of this, I called upon my trusted brain trust—Xena, the radical feminist, and Appu, the unbiased free thinker—for an unrestrained discussion.

Appu, never one to hold back, jumped straight into the debate.

“There are entire groups of women for whom this topic simply doesn’t apply,” he pointed out.

“The first group, the stay-at-home mums and housewives should have no issue with it; they’re not juggling a job alongside housework. As of June 2022, around 20% of couple families in Australia had a stay-at-home mother.”

“The second group” he continued, “is the single, unmarried women, like yourself Xena. They shouldn’t be complaining either. If they live alone, then by default, they do 100% of the housework; there’s no man around to blame on! You can’t blame your cats.  Currently, about 16% of Australian women live in single-person households, and this number is expected to rise.”

“The third group of women for whom this debate should be irrelevant is single mothers, who shoulder full responsibility for their families with no man in the picture. In Australia, approximately 12.5% of all families are headed by single mothers.”

“The fourth group,” Appu continued, “are the wives of wealthy men. They certainly don’t have the household chores problem. Can you picture Nita Ambani, wife of Mukesh Ambani, Asia’s richest man, or wives of Bollywood cricketers or Bollywood heroines slaving away in the kitchen? Hardly. And yet, despite never lifting a finger for chores, rich wives can still walk away with multibillion-dollar divorce settlements. Just ask Melinda Gates or MacKenzie Scott.”

“According to the 2021 Australian Census, there were approximately 6.73 million families in Australia. Of these, 5,552,973 were couple families, with 53% having children living with them. So, narrowing it down, this crisis does not really affect every single woman but only those in couple families with young kids.”

“Xena, even though you’re a single woman and the matter is not relevant to you, yet you’re so vocal about it,” Appu queried.

Xena, arms crossed, was already gearing up for her counterattack. “You’re right. It doesn’t directly affect me, but as a feminist, I speak for all women and know what is good for them. I’m doing this for my sisterhood. In fact, I’m campaigning for kitchen-less houses to be built. We need to eliminate the kitchen to free women from the burdens of housework and patriarchy. No kitchen, no housework. The kitchen is a torture chamber for women, where they’re chained to the sink.”

Appu protested, “Household chores have become so much easier thanks to refrigerators, washing machines, dryers, dishwashers, mixies, robotic vacuum cleaners and moppers, grinders etc; all designed by men to lighten the workload. Men wouldn’t have invented these gadgets if they were truly intent on keeping women confined to the kitchen. Every woman I know of has a fancy and expensive kitchen”

“Let us go back to basics. Why can’t these household chores be outsourced? Outsourcing household chores has become increasingly common with the rise of professional services and gig-economy platforms such as house cleaning services, laundry & dry cleaning services, dishwashing services, handyman & repairs, pre-portioned ingredients with recipes for easy home cooking, personal chefs, pick-up and drop-off laundry services for washing, drying, and ironing, hiring a cook to prepare meals at home, regular delivery of home-style meals, ordering takeout from Uber Eats, DoorDash etc, daycare & preschool services for kids, babysitters & nannies, elderly care services, subscription services, pet care services, gardening & landscaping and so on. Outsourcing these tasks can free up time and reduce stress in the household. There’s even a service called “Hire a Hubbby”!! With the rise of takeaway apps, cooking at home has become less common these days”.

“Despite what movies like Mrs might portray, urban women in India have it easy. They have servant maids at their disposal to handle cooking, cleaning, and all other household chores. However, it’s ironic that women are outsourcing these tasks to other women, thereby reinforcing the very roles of women in cooking and cleaning.

“With their double income, couples can easily bridge the 1-hour gap by outsourcing household chores.”

“The gender wage gap is a another debated issue, with men supposedly earning more than women. The Household, Income and Labour Dynamics in Australia (HILDA) report finds that in 2022 men spent more time on employment (avg 37.9 hours a week) than women (avg 28.5 hours). Yet, despite contributing a larger share of the household income for the family, by working harder and longer hours, men are still expected to do an equal amount of housework? That hardly seems fair! Or if the man financially compensates the woman for the 1-hour gap will the issue go away?”

While Xena was fumbling for words, Appu suggested a few solutions to resolve the issue, for women. “The best-case scenario for the woman is staying single—no shared housework, no disputes! But even if married, opting for a DINK (Double Income No Kids) lifestyle is a smart move. After all, kids are the main culprits behind the endless cycle of household chores and roadblocks for a woman’s career.”

“If the family has teenage kids, they should be made to share the household chores, easily bridging the one-hour gap.”

“Marry a rich man and never work a single day. Outsource all household chores to others and be on permanent holidays”!

“Marry a househusband! A househusband is a man who takes on the primary responsibility of managing household duties and childcare while his wife focuses on her career. From cooking and cleaning to laundry and child-rearing, he handles it all. The trend of househusbands is on the rise, as modern men, exhausted from centuries of waging wars, building pyramids and empires, and constructing roads and bridges—are now embracing reversed gender roles. If the man is a great cook, that’s an added bonus! In fact, majority of the chefs are men!

“Kamala Harris’ husband, Douglas Emhoff, is a lawyer who became the first-ever Second Gentleman of the United States when Harris took office as Vice President in 2021. Emhoff left his private law practice to support Harris’ role in government and her unsuccessful Presidential election bid. Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, took on a supportive role as Queen Elizabeth II led the monarchy. Not sure if these guys were doing the laundry and mopping floors or not”

“Now is the perfect time for women to step up to the plate (pun not intended) and take on the tough, demanding jobs that men have shouldered for generations by becoming the roti-winners while leaving household chores to the men. A welcome change indeed, giving men more time to perfect their golf swings or to tinker with their motorbikes. LOL!”

Appu concluded his arguments and rested his case. “With this shift in household dynamics due to reversal of gender roles, this perpetual debate can be finally put to rest”

Now for the twist in the tale! Research by Wren Kitchens, UK reveals that we can burn over 50,000 calories every month, just by doing household chores! Activities like vacuuming, mopping, scrubbing, gardening, cleaning windows, laundry & ironing, cooking etc burn a significant number of calories. The research highlights that household chores contribute to daily physical activity and can help with weight management.

So, household chores aren’t so bad after all; it’s like having a built-in home gym! Who’s up for sculpted muscles and a six-pack abs just from doing chores? Let us not be kaam chores! LMAO

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author.
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